July 24

”All glory comes from daring to begin.” Eugene F. Ware

Sometimes my glory in recovery comes from daring to begin, to take a new step, to use a tool, or to reach out. Other times my success comes by daring to wait and postpone, to acknowledge a trigger or the pull of my addiction and hold off taking any action that would lead me toward my middle or inner circle. It still amazes me that I have gained this ability, the simplistic capacity to put aside my obsession for 5 minutes or a few hours. I still recall all too well the years where I scarcely thought of anything but sex. It’s no small wonder the guidance of the program is laid out for us in steps. I couldn’t have seen tackling my issues any other way than one step at a time. It has felt less daunting and more achievable knowing that there is a method of concrete pieces that can lead me to serenity. My life used to be focused on instant gratification. Sex was the predominant subject, but through introspection I know that many other aspects of my life sought to have m needs filled right now, the way I wanted it done. Recovery is about delaying satisfaction, about focusing on others, and certainly about learning to put the will of my Higher Power before my own ambitions. All this and more has come from my daring to say for the first time, Hi my name is Scott, and I am a sex addict.

Affirmation In many small ways my recovery will show me new ways to live, new ways to handle life events, and different avenues to act and feel.

January 17

”Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.” Alfred A. Montapert

There are times when I have tried turning a problem over to my Higher Power and have waited patiently for Him to take care of things. And waited. And waited some more. And then come to the conclusion that perhaps it was something that I could change after all. So instead of asking for it to be taken from me, I prayed for the courage to take action and move forward. This is the way things are supposed to happen sometimes. Some of the main advantages of these delayed actions are that I have ample time to let my emotions cool, time to think of possible solutions and to have an opportunity to discuss the situation with others. If and when I finally do act it is from a more rational and calm place. I am grateful for that time to reflect because it helps me from reacting in the heat of the moment and escalating a given situation. Surrender is becoming more and more natural, but even this I can rely on too often. God’s will might be what I am striving to carry out, but it’s not going to happen of its own accord. I need to do the work to move in the right direction. Otherwise I will just sit on that rocking horse until it can no longer support me.

Affirmation Delaying my actions in emotional situations is often beneficial.  And it is okay if sometimes I need to pray for the courage to do what needs to be done.