February 11

”When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Victor Frankl

I find this a different perspective on the Serenity Prayer. So what I find myself in circumstances beyond my control, what am I left with? Me. I can always choose to change myself. Once again, here I discover some great words of wisdom to guide me. So here is yet another reminder to stop being a victim of my surroundings. Most of what happens around me is beyond my control or even my ability to influence. What I have a choice in is how I will decide to be, what attitude I will have, whether I will act or react, and how I choose to handle myself in given the situation life has presented to me. I do like the way the quote puts this, that “we are challenged to change ourselves.” I do think in most cases it is a challenge. I don’t usually welcome and openly embrace change. I’d rather go with the flow and keep things as they are. Change means work, a requirement to exert effort to make things different. It’s not comfortable and safe. But it’s what I need to continue to do in order to work my program and guard my serenity and sobriety.

Affirmation I accept the challenge of change. I accept that when it seems everything is against me, or there is nothing I can control, I always have the choice to change myself – my thoughts, attitude and actions.

October 18

”Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

I’ve made mistakes, as many as anyone, probably more. I have hurt myself, my family, friends, colleagues, and even complete strangers. I have done many things I am not proud of, that I would gladly take back if I could, but I cannot change the past as much as I would like to be able to. What I have within my control is today. Yes, there is a past that brought me here, but it need not be the over-riding force that guides my actions. I have a choice, each and every moment of the day, to do things different and work toward a new ending, rather than the one my addiction has in mind. The key for me to stay in the present is to work at letting go. Surrendering to my Higher Power, to my program, and to recovery means that I have to move beyond my past. I have to leave those things that weigh me down behind, where they happened and are meant to stay, and look at what I can do now to change and make improvements. Change happens the moment I decide to embrace it and take action.

Affirmation I will live for the present today, accepting the gift I have to make new choices and to move in a new direction.

September 23

”He who angers you conquers you.” Elizabeth Kenny

It’s been an interesting turn as I realize that when I am upset, frustrated or angry that I am giving away my power, my serenity, to the thing or person that is causing me the grief. I am willingly allowing that external source to control how I feel, how I act and how I react. And it’s my choice to do so. So therefore it can also be my choice not to either. Life is not always fair, others do not always act in ways that are just, reasonable or respectful. Most of the time there is nothing I can do about it either. I don’t have to enjoy or like these situations, but I also don’t have to let them get under my skin. I always have the option to continue to take the higher road, to live by my own examples and morals, and to treat others as I would like to be treated, especially when I know the same kindness would not be returned to me. I am not going to please everyone. Probably not even most. But that is not my goal, which is to be true to myself, to be open to the will of my Higher Power and to follow His guidance. The trivial things of the everyday world around me pale in comparison to my true path, so I need to focus on doing the right things, no matter the circumstances around me.

Affirmation I will recognise when I am angry and frustrated and look to let go and instead put those feelings aside and treat others better than they treat me.

August 25

”Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.” Anonymous

My life is a rollercoaster. Your life is a rollercoaster. Maybe life is a rollercoaster. Sometimes it’s slow and boring. Sometimes it’s wild and crazy. Sometimes you think it’s going one direction and it goes in the completely opposite one. Sometimes it’s totally out of control. And even sometimes, it crashes and burns. The thing is, once I get on the rollercoaster, get strapped in, there is not much left within my control, except how I want to react. I can get scared and choose to stare at my feet for the entire ride. I can get excited, whoop and holler, throw my hands in the air, and enjoy the twists and turns and drops. I can hold on for dear life, hoping nothing goes wrong, worrying about every little piece of the puzzle even if there is nothing I can really change or prevent. The thing is this, no matter how I choose to react to how life unfolds around me, I do have the power to be serene no matter what is going on. The peace I need, the peace I have found in recovery, comes from within, and therefore is always available. All I need to do is to remember it is there and reach for it, because, like my Higher Power, it is a part of me.

Affirmation In the midst of chaos lies the eye of the storm, a place of calm and tranquility. I can find this centre of serenity that comes from within and weather whatever life puts before me.

May 7

”Still round the corner there may wait, a new road or a secret gate.” J.R.R Tolkien

Life is full of surprises. As I am discovering, the more open I am to allowing my Higher Power guide my life, the more likely the unexpected seems to happen. It’s funny how this letting go tends to allow things to work out alright in the end, and often better than what I had imagined. For example, I was planning a trip recently and expecting a bonus to arrive to help pay for the travel costs. I had everything prepared, but my bonus was delayed. When it eventually arrived and I went to make my reservation, the prices had dropped, so I saved money in the process of things taking the time needed. Working on His time and not my own really can pay dividends! Having the patience in situations like this is not always evident. It’s easy for me to want to get my own way, when I want (usually NOW!) Letting things unfold as my Higher Power has foreseen takes a good deal of faith, and even courage. It is still unnatural to not take control and make things happen. Yet the rewards continue to provide proof that this trust is well-placed. The new roads and secret gates placed before me are mine for the taking, by not seeking them out but by allowing myself to discover them as my Higher Power presents the opportunities. I will continue to seek His will, his path for me and follow the signs to all the good things that are part of His plans.

Affirmation In letting God work His plan for me, there are many great rewards if I am patient to let things unfold in their own time and way.

December 14 (50)

”In struggling against anguish one never produces serenity; the struggle against anguish only produces new forms of anguish.” Simone Weil

I have the capacity to create new tensions in my relationships by fighting for things to happen my way. Or, I can step back, take a look at what my goal truly is, and if letting someone else take the reins will achieve the same thing, then maybe I am better off to let them be in control. It means I will not have to expend extra energy to defend my view and convince the other to follow my suggestions. Instead I can surrender. This does take faith that the other person will do as promised, and my willingness to accept that they will do it in their own way and not as I would have. This is how I need to see my relationship with my Higher Power. I have to find the courage and the humility to trust in His will, in His plans for how my life is supposed to unfold. It takes the continuing belief that He truly has my best interest at heart. I may not understand the path that has been place before me until I reach the destination, but I will have faith that the route I take is all part of the lessons I am supposed to learn along the journey.

Affirmation In surrender I gain the freedom to put my energy into more positive actions. Being humble and letting others take control can be a sign of strength.

May 25

”Don’t compromise yourself, you are all you’ve got.” Janis Joplin

Some days are harder than others. There are times when I wonder how much of my effort is put into things that can no longer be salvaged. I find myself internally conflicted about how hard I am supposed to fight for the things I still love and care about. When I lead from my heart I usually feel I am doing the right thing, but if I think too much it often seems I start to doubt my own intentions. I still struggle with trying to follow the right pas while at the same time being open to the guidance of my Higher Power. As much as there is a part of me that feels I need to hold on to what is dear to me, another part believes in the “if you love it let it go; if it comes back then it is yours” philosophy. In the midst of all this I need to constantly remind myself that my recovery, my serenity and sanity, is most important. I have to focus on what is within my control, which means taking care of me by working my program and performing actions that support my outer circle. I cannot control others, and can only pray that my heart’s desires will be fulfilled if I continue to patiently work away in the background.

Affirmation As hard as it may be, I need to remain focused on myself. Improving relationships takes two and I will practice patience until both parties are willing to move forward.

May 18

”Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.” Irving Berlin

It is still hard for me to admit just how small the realm of things I can influence actually is. I still have too much of the tendency to want to control things that are beyond me. And really, when I stop to look at my life, there is more than enough to occupy my attention and energy if I stay focused on me and what I am able to do. My biggest challenge is still in letting things happen as they are meant to happen. There are often times when I can influence or force something to take place, but rarely do I get the results that I imagine. Letting circumstances follow their natural course and schedule takes a lot of patience, and a continual turning over of my will and life to my Higher Power. Many of my most prized tools in recovery, repeating the Serenity Prayer, the 12 Steps and Traditions, deep breathing, prayer and meditation – all these are ways of slowing me down. It’s important for me to incorporate these breaks into my day. It gives me the opportunity to refocus my attention and ground myself in the present. I don’t always have to be on the go, to be doing something to prove my existence. I need moments to simply be. To listen to my breathing, feel the beating of my heart, to smell the air…to simply exist in the here and now. I am me and being alive is wonderful.

Affirmation Today I take the time to simply be me, to reflect on where I am and my surroundings.