March 27

”Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.” Les Brown

I've been accused of being a manipulative individual, of using people to meet my own needs. While there is some truth to this, I am coming to see that it was me who was manipulated first and foremost by my addiction. Those compulsions and obsessions, the warping of my perspective of reality, these are what led to to believe in that false idol and all its empty promises. My thoughts and actions became twisted and tainted by the desires of my addict, that only sought to fulfill its own needs, at the expense of everything else, including eventually my own well-being. My addict was not a helpful symbiotic presence, but a parasitic one, devouring its own host for survival. Life in addiction had limitations, because for the most part, the addict was controlling the strings. Life in recovery is returning control to me. In turn, I am making the conscious choice to turn my will over the the care of a loving, protective, and helpful God of my understanding. This is a path without limits, without bounds, with an endless horizon of possibilities and opportunities.  Yet I can still feel like life is not limitless, I can fall back into the grasps of my addictive "stinking thinking that I am less than, not worthy, or any of the other put-downs that used to hold me prisoner. I am loved and lovable. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I have a purpose. I matter. There are no obstacles that I cannot overcome.

Affirmation

Through turning my will over to my Higher Power today I shall reach further, climb higher, and be the best me that I am able.

July 14

”Love means to love that which is unlovable, or it is no virtue at all; forgiving means to pardon that which is unpardonable, or it is no virtue at all – and hope means hoping when things are hopeless, or it is no virtue at all.” G. K. Chesterton

I am human, I am flawed, I have limitations. I may have been created in God’s image, but this copy is severely lacking in omnipotence. Yet there is hope in this darkness. My Higher Power, as I understand Him, is willing to work through me, to let me love unconditionally, to forgive everything and anything, to have unending and enduring faith and hope. I need only ask and let myself be open to letting Him guide me. On my own ability I will always fall short; I simply do not have the capacity to do these things like my Higher Power can. Trying to live like this is completely different than anything I have ever tried. It requires a near complete surrender to God’s will and acceptance of those things I cannot control. It requires me to love my enemies like my friends, to be brutally honest with myself and others, to love myself as I am – the good, the bad and the ugly. It is easily the most difficult thing I have ever attempted to do, and it takes strength beyond that which I possess. I need to pray regularly to live as my Higher Power sees fit. I have not given complete trust into this process but I am making an effort.

Affirmation I am capable of many things but with my Higher Power by my side anything is impossible.