August 15

”Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” Eliza Tabor

I’m not sure how noble my soul is, but I can certainly accept that my intentions in recovery are indeed noble. The process of wanting to better myself, to leave my poor habits and behaviours behind while replacing them with more mature and positive ones is certainly a noble endeavour. Disappointment, failure and even loss can be used to fuel change. They can be the starting point to temper my resolve, to strengthen my courage, and to intensify my commitment. While they do not destroy, if I feed them instead with worry, doubt and fear, they will cover up my feelings, dragging me down the path of despair and desolation. Herein lies my dilemma, to choose the path that will nurture me and help me grow, or to follow the other which will stunt and retard my progress. The latter path is well known to me, the way is smooth and free of obstacles. The nurturing path is barely cut and full of thistles and thorns, deadfall that blocks the path, mud and other challenges. Yet it is in the struggle that I rediscover myself, that I put my new tools and ability to use and begin to build new roots. Setback is something I expect, I am learning to do things a new way and I accept that I will make mistakes. The goal is to continue trying and moving away from my old ways of behaving. This is part of the adventure of my new life.

Affirmation

My perception of failure, disappointment and setbacks can change to be a positive thing, a source of inspiration to continue down my new path.

September 7

”The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.” Mignon McLaughlin

One of my favorite affirmations is “I accept pain as my teacher and problems as the key to a new existence.” This follows the same line of thinking that problems and adversity are catalysts for change. In my recovery I am able to see more often that challenges are opportunities for me to behave differently, to learn and to grow. Much less often do they appear as obstacles or hindrances to my progress. There is another side to this affirmation, a warning and a reminder that I should not seek out situations that will knowingly cause me harm – physical, emotional or spiritual. Life events will unfold to present me with ample opportunities for growth and change that I need not add more chaos to my life to have more. If I trust in my Higher Power then I know that He will only give me what I can handle and no more. Life is nothing more than a series of events. Growing in the program, finding my strength within, helps me to find the courage to continue moving forward. Each step in recovery is an accomplishment towards living a new life – safe, sober, and clean.

Affirmation May I rise to the challenge of each moment, accept life as it happens, and avoid purposely adding chaos into my day.

July 22

”Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances which would have lain dormant.” Horace

I think I am discovering that one of my beliefs about this life as I know it is that it is not supposed to be easy. That happy-go-lucky place of no worries is what heaven is supposed to be (as I understand it), and as far as my religious beliefs go, I still think I need to earn my way in. Therefore my time here on Earth is not only to probe myself worthy, but to learn what it is to be human along the way. So far as my own experience goes I seem to learn a whole lot more about being human from going through hard times than coasting along when everything is fine. So my philosophy is that challenges, trials, disasters, tragedies – all these events that seem to bring out the worst in terms of what life has to offer – are also where mankind shows their greatest strengths. It is times like these where we  put aside our selfish interest to be compassionate and helpful for others, become more self-sacrificing for a greater good. In my own life I have chosen to rise to the occasion probably less often than I have been washed away, unable to find the strength to overcome the situation. Yet I have survived to be where I am today and I know I have a greater faith in my Higher Power to help me weather the storms that lay ahead.

Affirmation I can accept that the difficult times are challenges for me to overcome and learn from so that I can grow.