December 26

”All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” J. R. R. Tolkien

Some days I am really discouraged with myself, and with how little I am doing to take care of my needs. It happens on days when I go to get dressed and can’t find clothes that fit properly and I am reminded that I have not been exercising as much as I would like, or eating as healthy as I should. It happens on days that I pick up my pen to write and realize it’s been days or weeks since I last put an entry in my journal. It happens when I go to a meeting and have to look at the calendar to recall the last time I sat around the table with my brothers and sisters in recovery. Staying focused on my recovery takes effort. It’s a set of new habits, many of which still do not come naturally to me. I have to set reminders, and have others check up on me to ensure that I remember to follow my program. I need to establish a new routine that includes my new tools to help me progress in my recovery. The more I find excuses to put something off, the easier it is to forget and the harder it is to find the resolve to get back on track. Being sober gives me back the power to choose what to do with my time. However, I need to make the effort to plan my time accordingly, to put recovery work into my daily routine, or my old habits will work their way into squandering my time.

Affirmation Recovery has a lot do to with recreating myself, and that means putting new and healthy habits into my routine to reinforce my sobriety.

October 8

”When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.” Samuel Goldwyn

A good friend likes to remind me that celebrating periods of recovery is important. His biggest reason is that it is a reminder that if we take care of the little numbers, by living One Day at a Time, the big numbers take care of themselves. Personally, that part of my meetings where we take a few moments to recognize people’s accomplishments and periods of sobriety is about reminding everyone that the program does work. It does create happiness and joy when I can see others who have struggled pick up a one-month chip, or more. It is equally encouraging to see the veterans who can celebrate multiple years of sobriety and abstinence. All these milestones are a testament to people being able to turn lives around that at the lowest point seemed hopeless and futile. SAA changes and saves lives if we are just willing to trust in the process. I know people who shy away from recognition. Like me, good things can be a trigger as well, a time where I feel I deserve to reward myself. But I take another view for my periods of sobriety, that the recognition is to help demonstrate the value of the program to others. I am honestly content for each day I remain sober, thanks to the grace of God.

Affirmation I can celebrate my sobriety as well as that of others. It is good to be reminded that the program works if you work it.

August 18

”And if we are to be any better, now is the time to begin.” Lord Alfred Tennyson

My recovery can wait. I can go to the next meeting. I can call someone, tomorrow. I can read the green book, later. These are all choices that I can make. There are consequences to postponing working my program though. My addiction is ever-present and has no qualms about filling time that I decide not to use more constructively. Before I know it I can lose an hour, or two, or the better part of a day succumbing to my obsessive and compulsive behaviours. As I gain sobriety I am learning to be aware of this pattern. When I start putting things off, not only recovery work, but day-to-day tasks, it is easy for me to look back in retrospect at how easily my addictive side slides into place to direct my actions. This slippery slope can be avoided by saying to me, “Well I don’t really feel like doing X right now, but the alternative is to open myself up to middle or inner circle behaviours.” Being consciously aware of the consequence of inaction is usually enough motivation to push me to do whatever it is that I was procrastinating about getting done. The time for action is right now and it will keep me grounded in the present.

Affirmation I will be wary of being pulled towards inaction; it can be a warning sign that my addictive behaviour is taking control.

April 6

”The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.” Albert Einstein

With a little sobriety under our belts, most of us can easily admit that we are thinking clearer than usual. We can see that we have insight and understanding into our own situation, our past behaviours and actions, if we are honest as we work through the steps. This can be scary, confusing and make us uneasy; we are not used to trusting our own judgement and reasoning after so much time living in active addiction. If we can take the sober look into ourselves we can find the truer feelings that are at the core of our troubled selves. The hurt and resentments of our past, as far back as childhood, that have never truly been resolved as we were either never allowed to feel or taught how to do so. Our ability to Let Go and Let God will free us from these dark secrets. We can begin to move out of focusing on our problems and into working towards our solution, which the 12 Steps are an integral part.

Affirmation Today I will rejoice in my sobriety and trust my feelings and instincts as I work my program of recovery.