April 18

”Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.” Charlie Chaplin

As much as I agree with Mr. Chaplin’s idea that courage is required to make a fool of yourself, I am not as convinced that failure is unimportant. On the contrary I think failure is a necessity, it’s the driving force for change. In failing we learn what didn’t work right in order to be able to make adjustments, try something new, and hopefully succeed on the next attempt. I can see in a sense that failure is unimportant such that it should never cause discouragement. Failure is the result of trying, and trying to do something means progress and often taking a risk. I believe that I grow more from the lessons where I had to fail several times than from those where I got the hang of it right away. My recovery certainly has a lot of failure associated with it, not only from the months and years of my active addiction, but also from my attempts to recreate myself as I begin to heal. Learning new tools and ways to cope with the stress and emotional reactions of a “normal” life is brand new. I am aware I am not going to always get it right. But I am willing to keep trying.

Affirmation Today I will rejoice i n my failures, count them as my blessings, and look to learn from the error of my ways.

April 14

”If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” Bernard Baruch

There is something to be said for the usefulness of a treatment centre. Attending a program for chemical dependency or codependency can be a boon even for a sex addict. It’s comforting to be able to learn from such a place that an addict is an addict is an addict, no matter their drug of choice. It’s also where one can learn new tools for coping with life. As one of my children put it, its parent school, or maybe more generically adult school. Underlying problems of resentment, unresolved feelings and emotions, guilt and shame affect all addicts. These buried parts of ourselves are what draw us back into addictive thinking. Learning to love ourselves, trusting in our Higher Power, and to be open, honest and willing to change are all skills we need to learn to continue our journey of recovery. Without new tools in our tool belt to face the challenges of daily life, why wouldn’t we continue to do things we’ve always done? Therein lays the insanity of addiction. But there is help for us and we can ask our Higher Power for the courage to seek it out.

Affirmation I will explore the place I can get help, even a treatment centre. I acknowledge I need some new tools to cope with the challenges of daily life.