March 26

”We have always held to the hope, the belief, the conviction that there is a better life, a better world, beyond the horizon." Franklin D. Roosevelt

When I look back at the years spent in the depths of my addiction, I find it hard to find any worthwhile goals or accomplishments that my addict was striving for. Rather, that period was really on focused on pleasure for pleasure's sake, for feeding the insatiable desires of my addiction. Anything outside of that was merely there to support the ability to continuing acting out.      My horizons have opened now that I am in recovery. My program has granted me the clarity to see through the fog of addiction and realize that the world has so much more to offer. Even better, that there are many better ways for me to participate in this life and to use my skills and talents for the betterment of those around me.      As a child I grew up with the belief that my parents wanted a better life for me than they experienced themselves. And as a parent myself, I believe the same, and that I would like to leave the world a better place than I found it. Through my new-found awareness and sense of responsibility, I have hope that the future will indeed be brighter.

Affirmation

I can look to the future and the improvements that I hope and dream for, that my Higher Power has laid before me.

December 20

”Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” Robert H. Schuller

As Shakespeare might have said, “Ay, there lies the rub.” Of course Hamlet was speaking about life and death and his choices to escape the pain. Then, again, maybe not so dissimilar to Mr. Schuller’s quote. How is it that I can choose to lead my life, by my sorrow and pain, or by my blessings and joy? An outsider might question that musing by asking if I have the power or ability to choose to have only blessings or sorrow in my life. Yet that is not exactly the question I asked, which was which do I choose to be led by? That implies a distinct difference, meaning that I acknowledge I will have both hopes and hurts in life, but that I can choose to focus on whichever I like. Either can be a catalyst for shaping my future. My hurts, I think, tend to lead me towards seeking justice, and sometimes revenge. It is less about growth than trying to rectify the past. In contrast, my hopes lead me towards goals, dreams and accomplishments. These are often acts of creation and service to help better the world around me. I can see how where I put my emphasis can have a big impact on my decisions and actions. I think hoping is a much healthier and productive option.

Affirmation

My future will be brighter if I focus on my hopes and dreams and take measures towards fulfilling them.

May 11

”Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” John

Today is a gift. I am able to recognize, not only my talents, but all the wonderful mentors, guides and friends that bless me in my life. Right now I am connected to my Higher Power, my source of faith, integrity and love. I know I am a part of a larger community, this great extended family, due in large part to my recovery. The past is a place for me to learn from my experience. The future is the place for me to prove I am changing and living a better life through my program. But the place and time for this to happen is right here, right now. This is where I have the ability to make change, to take action, make decisions and just be. My life used to be about existing, simply making it from moment to moment, never being fully engaged or responsible. Today I am focused on living, on the principle of Carpe diem, of seizing the day and squeezing out as much potential as I can. The world is full of opportunity, wonder and beauty. I have so much to give, but even more that can be enjoyed and appreciated. I am truly grateful for the awareness that is allowing me to be present in the moment.

Affirmation

I will live in the moment, keeping my attention of what is around me and all the glorious things that my Higher Power has to offer me.

May 3

”Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.” Albert Einstein

I enjoy sitting down with a good book and reading a story. I’ve always been drawn to the fantasy and science fiction genres. I particular like a good adventure story, that starts with character from a very ordinary life who is thrown into an extraordinary position, and usually ends up on a quest to save the world. I like rooting for the underdog. I like using my imagination to bring the characters and the world to life, immersing myself in what my mind brings to life. I am also aware that I can use my imagination for my own benefit in the “real” world. From following suit of successful business people and athletes, I do spend time in certain aspects envisioning things that I want to happen. I use it to practice speeches and presentations in my head, visualizing success in my delivery. I use my imagination to look to the future I want to created, using a “vision” board to highlight what I want my life to be life and then working at believing that is what I have now. I do think our minds are a very powerful tool, that our thoughts are all part of the connected energy of the universe. How I think, my attitude and perceptions have a great influence in dictating what will happen to me, what kinds of experiences I will encounter, or what kind of prosperity I will receive. I am grateful that my imagination has been recovered in my recovery so that I am able to leverage it to continue bettering my life in its entirety.

Affirmation

There is a great truth in Rene Descartes idea of “I think therefore I am.” I will focus on the positive and envision good things for my future.

March 4

”Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” Charles Spurgeon

I cannot control what is going to happen tomorrow. I don’t know what events will take place, good, bad or indifferent. So therefore, worrying about what may or may not happen really does not serve any purpose. If there are things about tomorrow that I can do something about today, well that is something within my control. All that worrying about the future does is take away from today, spending my energy on speculation. It’s personal effort that I can put to better use taking care of matters before me, or in preparing for things I expect to happen tomorrow. But being anxious is only wasting time today. So, back again to the moral of the Serenity Prayer, to focus on the things I can change. That means living in the present moment, and leaving the past behind and the future before me. All this worry about what may happen is a form of procrastination that serves no real purpose, unless I am planning and making concrete actions to avoid risks and pitfalls.

Affirmation I will focus on the tasks before me, living in the moment and letting the past and future where they are.

February 13

”People with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine.” Brian Tracy

Goal-setting has been a challenge in recovery. I find myself at odds in trying to both live in the present and sit down to set goals that make me look to the future. Looking to set healthy goals is a new perspective, and one that’s still a bit unfamiliar. My future used to only be filled with planning for my next bout of acting out. Trying to determine what healthy goals are wasn’t that easy in the beginning. I had to rely on others around me to get their feedback before trusting that I was making good plans. Gradually, I gained confidence in my own skills to make good choices and set good targets that supported my recovery. One thing that certainly has helped is the simple act of writing out my goals. This is in part because it takes me longer to describe the goal, which makes it more real and gives it more importance. It also makes me think more about it, and can help plan steps to achieving it. The whole process enables me to envision realizing these tasks even more when I include those close to me.

Affirmation I will gradually be able to set goals with support and by taking the time to think them through and put them on paper.

September 27

”When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.” John M. Richardson, Jr.

The future, a topic that used to be focused only on fulfilling the needs of my addiction. How to get my next high, what fantasy to chase, or what thrill to seek. It was obsessed on that solitary topic to the exclusion of everything else, so it a more realistic way, I often found myself in that state of “wondering what had happened.” Because life is more complicated and full of variety that my one-track mind. I missed 99% of what was going on around me, so no wonder I felt dazed and confused when life caught up to me in those moments when I wasn’t engrossed in my other life. Since finding the 12-Steps, my life centers more on a combination of letting the future happen and making it happen. My true concern is the present, the place where I do have some control and the ability to effect change. Working the steps and practicing my tools lays the groundwork for a better future. I am making healthier choices and I am becoming more aware of the impact of my actions in my life. I am more consciously connected to the world around me.

Affirmation Life has an abundance of experiences waiting for me. Today I will accept the multitude of events I encounter to lead a broader, fuller, more connected life.

August 2

”The earth was made round so we would not see too far down the road.” Karen Blixen

Some days I wish I could not look further ahead than the end of my nose. That way it might be simpler for me to remember that first and foremost I need to take care of myself. When I look too far ahead down the path it is easy to start making other things and people a priority. Rarely does this have a positive result in my recovery as it all too often leads to neglecting or sacrificing myself for another cause. It is certainly contrary to the principles of the Serenity Prayer. I think it is hard to be selfish in recovery because as an addict I was focused only on myself. In my recovery, my instinct is to do the opposite of my old behaviours, to be selfless. My recovery is a self-centered process, but the difference is that it is healthy. It is self-care and involves me surrendering to the will of my Higher Power rather than my own as was the case in my selfish acting out periods. It is not so much a question of how far I look ahead, but rather if I am looking in the right direction. My experience is telling me that living in the present is enough for me to handle. If I can cope with today, the future will take care of itself.

Affirmation Being selfish and self-centered in recovery is self-care as long as I am doing God’s will and not my own.

February 10

”I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.” Albert Einstein

For many of us there comes a time when life is good once again. We feel more normal and that life has once again become manageable, even though there are still problems and difficult situations that confront us. It is often during these periods where we find we have not only the time, but also the energy and the desire to look ahead to the future. It can be a scary prospect as we have spent so long living one day at a time. Looking to the future can bring back memories and pain from a time when thinking about what lay ahead only meant planning our next episode of acting out or some other activity related to our addiction. Making the transition to thinking in a healthy manner about the future takes courage, understanding and support. But we can face this fear with the knowledge we have our feet planted on solid ground with the foundation we have built by working the program. The future can once again become a place of dreams and desires for a better life.

Affirmation Now that I am comfortable living for today, I can allow myself to explore the healthy future that lies ahead.