April 12

”A brave man acknowledges the strength of others.” Veronica Roth

It never ceases to amaze me what I learn about myself from the most unexpected moments. I have been happily handing out the initial copies of my first book to friends and brothers and sisters in the program who have been kind enough to support me. I went through with the publishing because it felt like the right thing to do, and not because I was seeking recognition or reward. For me, it’s purely part of my recovery and certainly my 12th Step work of passing the message to others. So what I was prepared for has been the response from those who are taking a copy. I haven’t grasped the impact I have had on the lives of those around me, and I am gaining insights that I might never have known. This in some ways has been a little challenging as I have had a difficult time accepting praise and recognition in the past. I am also striving to be a humble person. So when I mentioned at a meeting in my sharing that I was there for somewhat selfish reasons, i.e. to pass along copies of my book, I wasn’t prepare when someone said in their opinion of me I wasn’t selfish at all. I am grateful for this program that is teaching others, like it has me, to be brave, and to recognize others. I know I am indebted to those who were there for me and said the things I needed to hear.

Affirmation

Knowing I am worthy and deserving of recognition doesn’t necessarily prepare me to receive the accolades of others, but if I remain humble and true, I can accept them with gratitude.

June 29

”I praise loudly; I blame softly” Catherine the Second

This is certainly a lesson I still need to work on. For too many years I have done the opposite, blamed loudly and praised softly – if at all. I know part of that comes from my family of origin and always feeling like I had to deliver perfection. My faults and my mistakes have always seemed bigger and more prominent than my achievements. I guess in some ways it comes more naturally for me to treat others in the same fashion as a result. This is certainly a defect of character that I will need to work at turning over to my Higher Power. As I gain awareness of my own positive traits and strengths I also need to take the similar steps in treating others better. Especially with my kids, I know too well ho that treatment affected the impressionable child that I was. I am trying to learn not to blame others at all. First and foremost I need to be honest and take responsibility for my own actions. And rather than laying blame I know look to express my feelings about how the actions of others affect me and then seek to forgive them. There is a power and freedom in this new way of living that I could never have imagined.

Affirmation Today I will seek opportunities to praise, and to forgive rather than blame.