November 21 (73)

”Shame is a soul eating emotion.” Carl Jung

I still love the image of using our addiction to fill the “hole in our soul.” And as I have previously alluded to, I concur with Carl Jung that addiction enlarges that same hole, and shame certainly plays its part. The guilt and shame of addiction displace and destroy all those good, strong and healthy traits of our personality. We take on self-defeating attitudes and become our own worst enemies. We ruin ourselves from within, leaving only a shell of a real person left for the world to see. Yet this is not usually a permanent condition. I, too, felt hollow, like there was no true substance left in my being. Yet as I have discovered and work the Steps, fought kicking and screaming to let go of the compulsive behaviours and embrace the tools of the program, I have come to uncover my strengths that lay buried deep within my core. My soul can be tarnished or sorely damaged, but my spirit is strong enough to overcome even the worst of hardships. Through faith in my Higher Power, anything is possible, any life can be saved, even one that was as lost as my own.

Affirmation The soul can heal if given the chance, and my spirit is resilient enough to weather severe storms and can be rekindled once the skies clear.

August 5

”When a man finds no peace within himself it is impossible to find it elsewhere.” La Rochefoucauld

Many in the program refer to a “hole in the soul”, a void or some other description of the part of their being that their addiction, in temporary measure, has helped them to cope with during their lives. For me I have come to recognize it as my spiritual centre, where my addiction was effecting in severing the ties to my Higher Power while replacing Him with false idols. I know I have tried many ways to complete this missing piece of my wholeness, all pulled from external sources, to try and feel complete. Today as I am reconnecting to the God of my understanding, I am realizing more that the hole was not so much an emptiness as a denial of the parts of me that allowed my belief, faith and trust in my Higher Power. I am uncovering talents, abilities and values that my addiction covered up to keep me under its control. The power of serenity comes first from within. Now that I am living in sobriety, working my program, and my thoughts, deeds and actions are better aligned, peace and harmony are radiating from an internal source of power. I need not rely on external sources to fulfill all my needs; God has let His light shine in me.

Affirmation I am a vessel for my Higher Power and when I let Him work through me, I can find peace, serenity and love.