April 14

"The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.” Robert Jordan

In this new normal, I am still learning, learning how to adapt, cope, survive and even thrive. I am learning things like the fact that resilience is a choice. It's not an innate talent, but something that can be and is learned, strengthened, improved. There are many things that help me to be more resilient, more effective when faced with change. The recipe isn't all that complicated nor magical. It involves taking care of the basics, proper eating, sleeping, exercise. It also involves gratitude, recognizing my blessings. It is also balance, being ok when I am not ok, recognizing that this is an acceptable state. As is often touted in the program, this too shall pass. It is about re-focusing and finding purpose and things to accomplish. In other words, resiliency boils down to making the best of whatever situation life presents to me. It is about knowing my strengths and weaknesses, seeing limitations, setting goals, and finding the places where I can turn impossible into I'm possible. This is how I can thrive, no matter what comes my way.

Affirmation

I have the ability to be resilient in the face of change, to use the skills and knowledge I possess to make it through to the other side.

December 22

”A constant struggle, a ceaseless battle to bring success from inhospitable surroundings, is the price of all great achievements.” Orison Swett Madison

Dealing with life on life’s terms some days can be a challenge. Having emotions again, well there are moments when the temptation to numb them can feel attractive. Feeling hurt, sad, angry or rejected, this is not a fun place to be. Yet my recovery has taught me that I don’t make things better by wanting to escape from my emotions. The best thing I can do is sit through them and even explore where they are coming from, what needs in me are being unmet, and to learn from the experience. Life is a constant struggle where many things may seem to be against me.  But that isn’t entirely fair either. Life may feel like a battleground, but most of the time it’s pretty close to paradise. The dark clouds are only temporary, and I am learning how to weather the storm. This is the trick, to prepare myself not just to survive the inclement weather, but to brave the howling winds and push through the storm. It is in adversity that I grow, that I must rely on my strengths and my resources to move on. It is also where my faith in my Higher Power helps me to stay grounded and to keep up my hopes that this too shall pass. Yet the growth comes from wading through the challenges more than simply remaining as a bystander.

Affirmation

Life may feel like it is riddled with challenges, but they are opportunities for growth and to build my confidence in handling life in better, healthier ways.

April 25

”You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” Walt Disney

I used to think Hollywood movies only had the purpose to entertain, to fill a screen with mindless pictures and sound for a couple hours to distract us. And while that may be true of some films, certainly some genres more than others, many films do have depth and important messages that I am better able to see. There are many lessons of life, and authors, poets, artists of all kinds use their medium and talent to share those with the rest of the world. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don’t, sometimes I need to see the same movie or painting a few dozen times before the message comes through. Yet I am aware why certain things have a draw that keeps me going back to them, that there are messages within that resonate to my beliefs and values. One of the many lessons I have learned through literature and movies is that my past, no matter how dark or devastating it may have been at times, can be overcome. My potential to do great things is not limited because of where I came from, or what I have experienced. To the contrary, much of that can serve as motivation to propel me to make the world so much better because of how I suffered. So I can be grateful for that kick in the teeth, today at least.

Affirmation

With growing awareness I will find messages of hope and strength all around me. I need to simply keep looking and there they will be.

January 6

”Difficulties increase the nearer we get to the goal.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This is true in several aspects in my life at the moment. I see it in my workplace as my current project is heading to a close. Even with months of careful planning, trying to put a concept into place has met with numerous unforeseen challenges. It is also true in my personal life. It is true of my efforts to close a chapter in my life and to open a new one. It is also true of my venture to share my meditations with others. In the past, finding the road before me blocked by an obstacle of any size would have been motivation enough to turn to the poor choices of my addiction. These days, there are moments when I feel that familiar pull, but only for a short while. Instead, I am more often full of the desire to overcome the challenge before me, to press on and to reach the goal that I have in mind. This to me is one of the best signs of the progress I have made. Goals used to be something I set up so that I would have a reason to fail, and a reason to seek the solace of my addictive behaviours. I am thankful that they now serve a higher purpose, to push me further, to make me strive to be better, and to find solutions. And hopefully, this is all work to propel me along the path of my Higher Power.

Affirmation Recovery is less about changing what happens around me, but how I react to it instead.

October 19

”Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

I am beginning to see the challenges, obstacles and difficulties of life in a new perspective. I used to complain a great deal about life being hard, about the fact if there was a most complicated and convoluted way to get through a situation, I would be sure to find it. I thought life was supposed to be easier, and was constantly seeking a time when it would be normal, without disaster after disaster. Now I am realizing that maybe this life is meant to be hard. That the mountains I encounter are meant to teach me something, to help me grow, to give me strength. Perhaps even to humble me, and make me realize that I cannot succeed in this life on my own, without my Higher Power to help me. So I find myself opening up to embrace the challenges. I have always had the belief that God never gives us more than we can handle. So when I feel overwhelmed, it’s the time to ask for His help to go through it. And I can be grateful for those times of difficulty and see them as a sign that the God of my understanding has the faith in me that I come out the other side of the storm.

Affirmation If life is an uphill climb, I will but on my boots and tackle the mountain before me. I will be better for facing the challenge rather than looking for an easier, softer way.

September 28

”Difficulties increase the nearer we get to the goal.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Sometimes I feel like this is a test, that the closer I come to achieving something worthwhile, the more obstacles are thrown in my way. I’ve had good friends comment, on more than one occasion, that if there was the most difficult path to take to get through any given situation, well, then I would be the one to take it. Maybe it is the case, maybe it’s only my perception, or maybe those challenges are put before me to test my resolve, as well as to teach me something along the way. I saw another saying recently along the same lines that I think fits here, “The couples that are meant to be together are the ones who go through everything that’s designed to tear them apart and come out even stronger.” Yup, life can be like that some times. What I was missing before was a strong foundation, that belief in my Higher Power that I could overcome all those hard times, and grow as a result. Life is an uphill climb most of the time, and I was ill-equipped to handle the stress, and so relied too heavily on my addiction to try and pull me through. The thing is, the goals I seek are worth getting to, and there’s not really another way than crawling through the mud sometimes to get to the finish line. I need to trust that the God of my understanding has given me the tools I need to succeed, that He wants me to achieve my aspirations, and that He is there with me the whole time, cheering for my team to win.

Affirmation I do believe that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. I will face the challenges placed before me today and I will overcome them through faith.