May 8

”Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.” Cherie-Carter Scotts

Each day I am reminded of how much I still have to learn. Life is full of surprises and opportunities to increase my knowledge and awareness. I’m not sure that I agree that there are no mistakes, but there is certainly a chance to garnish some new nugget of insight from everything that happens in my day. It can be something small like appreciating time with one of my children, reflecting on how I acted in a specific instance, or gathering information before making a decision. Life is a series of endless possibilities, and I have a part to play in the path my life takes. Even though I am working to follow the will of my Higher Power, that endeavour takes effort and a directed purpose on my part to be realized. It will simply not happen as a series of random events. I do need to be a driver to keep going on the right course, making the right turns when needed, avoiding the pitfalls and obstacles along the way. While I know it is important to make good choices, I am less concerned with this than in the past. Instead, I put my confidence in the fact that I am prepared to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be. This doesn’t mean that I act impulsively or with blind disregard, but I that I have faith that even if I don’t make the best decision that I will live through it. It’s all a part of living life on life’s terms.

Affirmation

Live, decide, act, accept the consequences. I can make my life this simple today and handle whatever comes my way.

June 7

”The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” Robert Byrne

I’ve had to give myself a couple kicks lately to get out of the routine of just going about my daily business without much of a sense of purpose. Working to pay the bills and keep some financial stability is all well and good, but it’s neither fulfilling nor rewarding in of itself. One of the things I have been doing to try and change that has been starting and ending my day in prayer and meditation. The morning is about turning this day over to my Higher Power, asking to be able to see His will and to have the ability to carry it out. At the close of the day, I reflect on what I have accomplished, what I would like to improve, and take time to give thanks for some of the many blessings that I have in my life. Most days I still feel like I am floundering, not entirely certain what my Higher Powers purpose for me truly is. But I do know that as long as I keep working my program, and keep an open ear and open mind to the world around me, that I have a better chance of receiving His direction when it comes to me. And that is a much better purpose than many I have pursued in the past.

Affirmation If I seek the will of the God of my understanding through prayer and meditation, I know I will find it.

February 12

”You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction.” George Lorimer

As I reflect on  my life today as opposed to a few years ago when my addiction was very active, there are a number of striking differences. Probably one of the most significant is in terms of my sense of purpose. In my acting out days, I felt lost, without purpose, and as though I was simply going through the motions. Today, I have something to live for, something to strive to achieve, goals and dreams that I want to realize. The change has happened subtly and progressively. Probably the first stage was getting to a point where waking up meant that my purpose for the day was to be in recovery. That was 2 big accomplishments in one, first wanting to work my program, but also wanting to be in the moment and live for today. Today I sense a number of different avenues of purpose. And while recovery is still important, I have found an even greater purpose, and that is to continue to seek and be willing to follow the will of my Higher Power. It is more than just abstinence from my compulsive sexual behaviours, but a desire to be a servant and to give of myself to others. My spiritual aspect that used to be buried has now come to the forefront to lead me on my journey.

Affirmation I will find the strength, courage and ability to move with purpose as I surrender myself to the will of the God of my understanding.

December 6 (58)

”Begin each day as if it were on purpose.” Will Smith

One tool that I have seen work well is establishing a plan of recovery for each day. Taking a few moments and considering what activities and tools I can use and schedule into my daily routine to provide reminders and support. Then I can make myself accountable by checking in with my sponsor or a fellow member at the end of the day to see how many of the things I actually incorporated. It is fuel to keep me on the right path be setting up items in advance that will aid me throughout the day. It is a different approach than focusing on my unwanted thoughts and behaviours. Instead, looking at the positive is a way to help reinforce my new way of living, just like affirmations are meant to help me break free from my negative thinking. This affirmative action planning is another guideline to assist in the creation of a new routine and habits that protect my sobriety. Beginning each day with a purpose is a boost to reinforce my recovery and enhance my defenses against the pull of my addiction. I may not always have a terrific day, but the more I work at living my new life, the greater the hope I have of achieving freedom from the dark cloud of my sexual addiction.

Affirmation I will plan ahead for tomorrow to put in place recovery work and outer circle activities to protect my sobriety and to heal my connection to my Higher Power.

June 16

”He who has health has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.” Arabian proverb

My new found hope may come from within, but it is strengthened and maintained through faith in my Higher Power. I am learning in my humility that I will only achieve truly great and profound things through the love, faith and patience that the God of my understanding can provide. Turning over my life and my will, surrendering myself to this unseen force is the only way for me to live the life I was meant to have. By God’s grace I am on this planet and I believe there is a specific purpose for my life even if I have not yet recognized it. But I have confidence that through His wisdom I can achieve all that serves His purpose. I am working through the steps of the program to remove the obstacles to my connection with my Higher Power. In doing so I am transforming myself to be able to better serve Him. I am open in my prayer and meditation to the instruction of where to put forth my energies. I am being reborn into the person I was meant to be as I gradually give away my defects of character.

Affirmation I can feel the change from within. I am open to the guidance of my Higher Power and the true path I am meant to follow.