September 4

”Life’s most persistent and urgent question is ‘What are you doing for others?’” Martin Luther King Jr.

Reaching a more stable point in my life makes me ask the question “What next?” The program knows the answer, and it’s all captured in the 12th Step, “carrying the message to others.” The implication here is that now that the program has helped me rise out of my own pit of despair, I have a certain duty to share my message, strength and hope with others. My service work doesn’t have to stop at the doors of my meetings though. Being a grateful recovering sex addict hasn’t just improved me in terms of my addictive behaviours, but as a whole person. I am living more authentically in all aspects of my life. I have rediscovered talents and abilities within me that are meant to be shared with the world. In essence my spiritual awakening has been about the journey of learning how I am meant to serve my Higher Power. Being open to the will of the God of my understanding, listening for the good orderly direction in my mediation and reflection, is the primer for me to serve my fellow man. I am less self-centered than I used to be and more selfless – I want to share the happiness, joy and wisdom that has blessed my recovery and returned me to the person I was always meant to be.

Affirmation It is in giving that we receive; my gift of recovery is priceless. I can never repay the debt but I will share with any willing to listen.

August 20

”The true way of softening one’s troubles is to solace those of others.” Madame de Maintenon

My problems, looked at in isolation, often seem huge, difficult or insurmountable. Yet as I share them with others, my sponsor, fellow addicts or in my meetings, I often gain insight in describing them to others that allows me a more realistic view. In sharing I often hear stories from others   that also challenge me to look at the emphasis I am putting on the problem and how I am holding back from working towards a solution. Sometimes I just need to recognize someone else’s pain and suffering to forget about my own for a while and to be the one who lends support rather than leaning on others. I am beginning to realize the power of the program in those of us who are recovering transforming into wounded healers. It is my darkest and lowest points of my life, when I felt at the end of any hope, that are becoming strengths that allow me to connect with others who are suffering that is only possible because I have been there too. Through this common bond I can show that even as bad as my life has been, it has turned to a positive direction, by the grace of my Higher Power, where the sun shines once again and a sense of normalcy is possible.

Affirmation I will recognize my potential as a wounded healer and reach out to someone I know who is suffering.

June 17

”A bird does not sing because he has an answer – he sings because he has a song.” Barbara Johnson

Spring is one of my favourite times of the year. It is a time of rebirth and renewal, and it is a funny coincidence that it was that time of the year when I first realized the extent of my problems and began to seek help. I remember feeling trepidatious and scared about walking into my first meeting. I was not entirely sure what to expect, how comfortable I would feel...it was certainly a step into the unknown. There was a small comfort in the fact that I had found my first group through a phone line and that a member was to be there to meet me. It was reassuring indeed when he was there and greeted me. It did not take long for me to feel at ease in the group. I even shared a little at that first meeting. Since then, I have been a regular attendee. I joined a second group a couple months later, and then helped to start a step study group shortly after that. I share at every meeting, not because I have answers to making the program work, but because sharing my experience helps ground me in my recovery and maybe something I say will help another member. I learn as much if not more from everyone else who shares as I do from my own participation. I am thankful for the open and honest exchange at each meeting.

Affirmation It is important for me to share my story with others; fellow members can learn from me as well as I can learn from them.

May 16

”A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.” Herbert Prochnow

I have lived in the country, in small towns and even in larger cities. For me the size of the place has had little to do with how alone or connected I have felt to the community. That power lies within me, whether I choose to be involved or if I would rather isolate and retreat to my own comfort zone. The shame and guilt from my addiction has been a great contributor to keeping me alone in my misery. I have always been disappointed that I have never had many friends, but I was the biggest obstacle. I have done little to invite others into my life. My recovery and my discovery of the SAA program has started me on a path to reconnecting with others, in making new friends – even a new family. I am learning that I do not need to hide behind my wall of shame and guilt from my past. My honest sharing gives me a new freedom to develop a new kind of intimacy with others and to rediscover a sense of community. Sharing my past and letting go of the power of my secrets gives me power to focus on the positive aspects of my being. Regaining the ability to like myself and no longer wanting or needing to isolate will help me in reintegrating myself into my community. I no longer need to be lonesome in a crowd

Affirmation I can learn to love myself and start to open myself to let others into my life. Sharing my secrets will diminish their hold on me.

April 15

”Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” Buddha

As addicts our tendency in life has been to take, to take whatever was needed to be able to satisfy our addiction. Therefore it is very natural that during our early recovery that we approach the program with the same attitude, taking everything from everyone, looking for all the golden nuggets so we can magically recover. With time we come to realize that true growth in recovery comes not from taking but in giving. In sharing our experience, strength and hope we gain tenfold what has been handed out. Sharing what we’ve learned, where we have struggled, how we’ve increased our own awareness about our middle and inner circle behaviours, not only reinforces our own progress, but promotes recovery in our peers. We’ll be amazed by the gratitude we receive from people when we least expect it.

Affirmation Sharing my recovery today will help me in my own journey and hopefully many others along the way.

February 16

”There is no entering into the secret thoughts of a man’s heart.” Lord Mansfield

When we first came to SAA, many of us had the impression that we would never find anyone like us, no one who shared our dark secrets. It was surprising for most of us then at our initial meeting to find just how much we had in common with others in the room. What a pleasant relief to know that we were no longer alone! While it may be true that no one can truly understand our lives and our secrets, we come to trust in our group and do find compassion and empathy in those who have a greater understanding of our addiction and the impact it can have on our lives and sanity. It is comforting and reassuring to come back to our meetings on a regular basis, or even after a number of months or years, knowing that we are among equals who genuinely care for us and want to support us on our path to recovery. The miracle of our meetings is also the fact that in sharing our own story, our discoveries made during our own recovery, that we help our fellow members continue their own journey. We truly do accept that we all need to lean on each other from time to time to make it through our difficult periods.

Affirmation I will share my journey, mostly for my own recovery, but with the knowledge that my words may help my fellow members.