August 2

”The earth was made round so we would not see too far down the road.” Karen Blixen

Some days I wish I could not look further ahead than the end of my nose. That way it might be simpler for me to remember that first and foremost I need to take care of myself. When I look too far ahead down the path it is easy to start making other things and people a priority. Rarely does this have a positive result in my recovery as it all too often leads to neglecting or sacrificing myself for another cause. It is certainly contrary to the principles of the Serenity Prayer. I think it is hard to be selfish in recovery because as an addict I was focused only on myself. In my recovery, my instinct is to do the opposite of my old behaviours, to be selfless. My recovery is a self-centered process, but the difference is that it is healthy. It is self-care and involves me surrendering to the will of my Higher Power rather than my own as was the case in my selfish acting out periods. It is not so much a question of how far I look ahead, but rather if I am looking in the right direction. My experience is telling me that living in the present is enough for me to handle. If I can cope with today, the future will take care of itself.

Affirmation Being selfish and self-centered in recovery is self-care as long as I am doing God’s will and not my own.