March 15

”I wanted to write about the moment when your addiction no longer hides the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down that’s the moment when you somehow have to choose what your life is going to be about.” Chuck Palahniuk

One of the things we realize is that once we’ve admitted that we are a sex addict there is no turning back. Just like a cartoon character that runs off of a cliff, once he looks down, gravity suddenly takes effect and there is nothing left to do but be pulled down. Taking that first step to come clean about our past behaviour can feel the same way, like the dam of our past has sprung a leak that leads to us being washed away in a flash flood. It’s important to remember that our past is finite and that the waters trying to drown us are not limitless but will eventually recede. In the beginning is when we need the most support to know we aren’t alone, to help keep us afloat and to remind us that this too will pass. It’s also comforting to know that at the time we find the courage to admit our problem and begin working the program, our resolve and will are often strong enough to help us weather the oncoming storm. In the end, time will temper all things and restore balance.

Affirmation I know there is a flood that awaits me, but I also know that I need not face it alone.