March 22

”Sorrows come to stretch out spaces in the heart for joy.” Edwin Markham

I am coming to terms with being able to appreciate, at least to some to degree, being grateful for the pain I have caused myself through my addiction.  As I progress in recovery I am gradually regaining the ability to enjoy many of the small wonders of life, a walk in the woods, play time with my children, a good movie, a nice dinner at home…all the things that I had lost sight of while in my active and compulsive addiction. Since I have started recovering from my addiction, I am becoming more aware of the size of the hole in my life that remains to be filled. I am pretty certain that my addiction not only covered up the void within me with its temporary fixes and empty promises, but was also eroding the edges to increase its size. I guess the good news in that is that there is now more room for me to put good things into, all the real benefits I get from focusing on my recovery and my outer circle behaviours.

Affirmation I choose to find the positive in the pain and suffering that my past behaviour has caused. I will rejoice in all the small real things I can do in recovery.