June 6

”If you have not often felt the joy of doing a kind act, you have neglected much, and most of all yourself.” A. Neilan

Giving back in service is not about the possibility of getting something in return. Service work is done because we have something to share. For me it comes from a true desire to show gratitude for all I have gained from my fellowship. It’s a small act to do my part to help keep the group functioning so that it will be around for others who need the program as much as I do. Service can be as simple as showing up a few minutes early to help set up tables and chairs, or staying a few minutes later to put them away. It can be chairing a meeting, welcoming a newcomer, or becoming a sponsor. It can be taking a leadership role in a group, intergroup or even with the ISO itself. There are many levels where I can do my part to keep the fellowship alive and well. I have always found in volunteering that I get back so much more than I expected, and usually in ways that I could never have predicted. The opportunities it has opened, the people whom I have encountered, the experiences I have had all continue to provide encouragement for me to give of my time. Service is definitely a healthy activity that resides in my outer circle.

Affirmation I will look for ways that I can give back to the fellowship, big or small, to show my appreciation.

June 5

”The important thing is to learn every time you lose.” John McEnroe

It seems to me that modern society has become focused on “not losing.” I see it mostly in how my children are treated at school and in sports. Nobody fails, we no longer keep score, and everybody is a “winner” for having participated. I’m not convinced this is the best way. Winning can be a motivator, but more importantly I think there is value in losing. If it is handled properly it is a way to evaluate performance, find areas to work and improve and is motivation to do better next time. While we struggle to keep things fair for everyone, it is not truly reality. Some people are just naturally better than others or have the drive to succeed – in sports, in school, in music or whatever the individual’s talents or goals may be. In trying to even out the playing field I am not sure that everyone, if anyone, really benefits. In my own life I certainly am learning to value losing, or simply failing. Not getting the results I want gives me a chance to do a few things. First, it can be a reality check to see if the avenue I have been pursuing is really where I want to go. It also provides the opportunity to look back at my strengths and weaknesses to determine what I can do better next time. Losing doesn’t have to be as negative as society wants us to believe.

Affirmation I will look for the lessons I can learn from my losses today; reflection and evaluation can help me find a better way ahead.

June 4

”The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don’t know what to do.” John Holt

In the past when faced with a situation when I did not know what to do, my usual reaction would have been to say “<insert your favourite expletive here> it” and seek escape in my addictive behaviours. It still happens frequently in my recovery that I find myself in these types of situations. But I have found new ways to handle them. Usually I start with a Serenity Prayer (or 3) to help calm me down as well as providing me the time to evaluate how much (little) control I have. Then I try turning over everything (almost) that is out of my power to my Higher Power (here you go, it’s all yours!) At this point I usually feel relief and a decrease in the pressure and stress of the situation. Finally I can take a realistic look at what is within my power to deal with (lil ol me) and can start formulating some ways to handle the problem. I know I can always ask for help or simple reach out to others to vent. Life in recovery is about making different choices (see definition of insanity.) My tendency now is to evaluate and act rather than immediately reacting to the world around me. I know that as a result that I am rebuilding my character in the process.

Affirmation Today I will try not to escape from life’s challenges, but pause and focus on the things I can change.