November 11

”Life begets life. Energy becomes energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.” Sarah Bernhardt

One of the important things I did to start taking better care of myself in recovery was to increase my physical activity and exercise. It was apparent after a short while that burning energy actually gave me more energy, and that I found I had more endurance to get through the days. It also helped that I have gotten myself into better shape, lost some weight, and rid myself of stress through sweat. There is a flip side which can be equally true. Laziness can beget laziness. I can easily get into a routine of doing nothing much at all, sitting in front of the TV or computer or whatever. Conserving energy encourages more of the same, and leads to inaction. Sitting still reminds me too much of moments of my “active” addiction, which was really an exercise in stagnation. Recovery is about participating in life again, taking an active role and working for change. It is about learning to be rich with all that my Higher Power has provided for me.

Affirmation It’s true that in giving I receive, in working my program and spreading its power with others that I gain for my own benefit.

November 10

”Life's blows cannot break a person whose spirit is warmed at the fire of enthusiasm.” Norma Vincent Peale

As one member puts it, he continues to come to meetings to place himself amongst the coals and heat of others in recovery, to rekindle his own flame and spark to continue working his program. It is true I often see my meetings in a similar fashion, that sitting with like-minded, and similar afflicted but coping people, gives me a boost to keep pursuing my own growth and change. I may share my own experience, strength and hope, but I also receive the same from everyone who offers their own to the group. Addiction taught me that no one was worthy of trust, that I was meant to succeed in life by no one’s will and effort but my own. Obviously, that was not a path or reality that really worked. Recovery and the 12 Steps are teaching me that life requires the assistance of others, that things work better when I reach out and put my faith not only in my fellow man, but also in a Higher Power. It is in gaining a sense of community that I will grow and find happiness. It makes sense when my world consisted only of me, myself and I, that life’s blows seemed the most devastating. There was nothing and no one for me to fall back on. However, now that I know I am not alone, that there is a team of people rooting for me and supporting me, I can more readily face the challenges of life. I carry a seed of enthusiasm and hope within, but I am aware that it is fueled and sustained by those who surround me.

Affirmation May my fire of recovery burn brightly, may I seek similar spirits to kindle my flame and keep the flame of change ever-lit.

November 8

”Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3-4

My recovery has certainly been about building character. I have done a pretty good job at destroying a lot of the good things in my life. The best gift my addiction has given me has been the suffering, the depths of despair that have driven me to want to change my ways, to seek to have a better life. Having hit bottom has pushed me to preserve, to continue work at my recovery because I know what the alternative is. I fear going back into my addiction, in picking up where I left off, as I know that path leads to my eventual destruction. So this is now motivation for me to pursue the 12 Steps at all costs, because the price of failure is no longer acceptable. But my recovery is not based in fear, even if that is a motivating force. My recovery is based in hope, in the experience and strength that I see in other members at meetings, and even occasionally recognize in myself. I know my character is being rebuilt, and that my suffering and perseverance are propelling me into a closer relationship with my Higher Power.

Affirmation I accept that recovery will expose me to increased suffering, but that this is part of the cycle for me to grow stronger and closer to God.