July 18

”Our experience has taught me that happiness and passion in marriage do not come from finding the right partner, but in being the right partner.” Bill and Pam Farrel

My relationship with my partner is an important of my life, as is my partner. I am learning that I need to see this from 3 different perspectives. There is the aspect of self, that of my partner, and also the relationship which exists between us, but that is an entity unto itself. The health of things between me and my partner depends on taking care of each of these pieces. I need to take care of myself, my basic needs of food, love, shelter, security and spirituality. This includes working my program and spending time doing my outer circle activities. I need to take care of my partner by doing things like spending time with them, being considerate and respectful, helping out with chores and displaying my love and affection for them. I also need to put time and effort into the relationship between us. For me this means activities like having deep, meaningful conversations about our dreams and aspirations, resolving conflicts, and planning for goals. It also involves reading self-help books, attending seminars, and watching movies about strengthening a relationship. Prayer is also a core ingredient to help build intimacy. When I back off on even one piece of the puzzle, the relationship as a whole suffers. This is an important lesson to remember. I need not go to extravagant measures every day, but putting a bit of my energy into each of the three parts is a healthy plan. Continual work will ensure the longevity of the relationship, as well as my satisfaction and happiness within it.

Affirmation

Today I will ensure to take time for myself, to spend time with my partner and to work on our relationship, in order to maintain this wonderful gift I have been given.

July 17

”Sex is emotion in motion.” Mae West

I am starting to question what sex, or the act of making love, means to me and how it might differ from my partner’s views. There are some obvious answers her, that it’s a means to procreate, it’s an act of intimacy and that it is a physical/emotional/psychological release of energy. But going to a deeper, but maybe simpler view – What purpose does it have in my relationships? So why do I have sex? Part of the answer is that it’s pleasurable, both for me and my partner. I enjoy giving and receiving pleasure, as I assume my partner does as well. It is a part of intimacy, which for me is about bringing two people closer together. It is an act of vulnerability and a place where we can connect in a deep and personal way with each other, in many different senses. It is sometimes part of reconciliation after a disagreement or argument. And even occasionally a reward or present as part of a special occasion like an anniversary or holiday event. This still doesn’t answer the whole picture of what it does though. It can build trust and strengthen my relationship. It is yet another aspect of my partner where I can learn likes and dislikes, and share my own. It can be a place to heal wounds from the past. It can also be a place of creativity and wonder. When I am in a good place, sex can be a healthy component of my life. It will enhance my connection to my partner and be part of our quality time together. It nurtures the physical, spiritual and emotional portions of our lives.

Affirmation

Sex is an essential part of being a couple, and it is something to be cherished, respected and appreciated.

June 9

”Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be.” Marsha Petrie Sue

I do believe that each day is a fresh start, a blank page waiting for my story to be written upon it. When I make a point of remembering this it makes each day a part of a ritual of renewal and rebirth, a chance to start anew and to see the limitless possibilities which lay before me. There’s the important part, when I remember. My downfall in this regard is simply routine. I am a creature of habit. I like to do the same things day in and day out. Trying to treat each morning like it’s the first day of the rest of my life is an attempt to break out of my mold, and to make every day a unique experience on purpose. This is not something that can be routine. It needs fresh, invigorating ideas and energy, a dash of naivety, and a bit of blind luck. As I heard someone say, it is my attitude, not my aptitude, which will help me achieve my altitude. My perception, where I put my focus for the day and how I lay the foundation in those first minutes after I awake, goes a long way in setting the stage for what will follow. I need to make a concentrated effort to be in the moment throughout the day, and not just caught up in the flow of what is happening around me. Taking the time to fully experience moments during the day keeps me grounded and connected to my Higher Power, and strengthens my reserve of serenity and clarity.

Affirmation

There are things I can to in starting my day which will make it easier to have a good one. I will take the time to pray, meditate, and find the energy to see all the wonderful potential that awaits.