August 17

”Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” Alexander Graham Bell

Being in recovery requires concentration. This is a new way of living, and in many respects it is quite different from how I lived my life for many years. Therefore it does not come naturally or instinctively to recognize my feelings, to notice triggers, or to stay focused on the present moment. The best I can equate it to is learning a new language, that my head needs to learn to think “in recovery”, that I need to grasp the grammar of the steps so that I can act in ways that support my program. This is no easy task. And it was hardest in the beginning, when everything was new. Yet it has eased over time, gradually I have been able to form new habits, make tools and behaviours feel more normal. But I can still remember those initial moments when most things felt awkward and forced. But that is because they were. Changing fundamental parts of me is not pleasant, it goes against the normal of how things have always been. This is not something I managed to do totally of my own accord. I needed a support network, others in recovery, friends and family, to help encourage me to continue down this new path. The unfamiliar territory was a little scary at first, but I knew the old path was even worse. The risk has been worth it, even though the discomfort was there. Discomfort for me now means change, and change has been a positive in my life in recent years. I am slowly shedding the skin of my addiction and letting my true colours come to light. It’s an effort of concentration and focus well worth the pursuit.

Affirmation

Recovery is a learning experience. It requires my time, energy and dedication to become an integral part of me, but the reward is well worth my efforts.

August 16

July 16

”You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” Zig Ziglar

There are days when I have to remind myself that I am unique. It’s easy for me to fall into the trap of feeling like just another person in society, following the same rules, and forgetting all the things that make me who I am. But the truth is that there is no one else out there like me. My experiences are mine and mine alone. No one else has the same set of strengths and weakness that I do. No one else looks exactly like me, speaks like me, works like me or thinks like me. I am the only and only me. So then it follows that my Higher Power gave me what I have. I am the only one who can work with those tools, abilities and skills. Others might be able to see them and try to bring them to bear in certain circumstances like work, on a sports team or in a community group. But it still comes down to me putting them into action. And I waste those talents when I choose not to put them to use. So it’s true that I, as a member of the human race, have a responsibility to be of service. How else can I share my knowledge, experience and skills with others? The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions promote a life of service. While my recovery is a selfish pursuit, focused on bettering myself, the end result is that I am a healthier and more responsible citizen who can share the best of myself with the world around me. That is a worthy endeavour and something I strive to do each day. How can I be of service to others today?

Affirmation

In improving my own state of coping with the world, I will become better able to give back and be of service to others.

August 15

”Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” Eliza Tabor

I’m not sure how noble my soul is, but I can certainly accept that my intentions in recovery are indeed noble. The process of wanting to better myself, to leave my poor habits and behaviours behind while replacing them with more mature and positive ones is certainly a noble endeavour. Disappointment, failure and even loss can be used to fuel change. They can be the starting point to temper my resolve, to strengthen my courage, and to intensify my commitment. While they do not destroy, if I feed them instead with worry, doubt and fear, they will cover up my feelings, dragging me down the path of despair and desolation. Herein lies my dilemma, to choose the path that will nurture me and help me grow, or to follow the other which will stunt and retard my progress. The latter path is well known to me, the way is smooth and free of obstacles. The nurturing path is barely cut and full of thistles and thorns, deadfall that blocks the path, mud and other challenges. Yet it is in the struggle that I rediscover myself, that I put my new tools and ability to use and begin to build new roots. Setback is something I expect, I am learning to do things a new way and I accept that I will make mistakes. The goal is to continue trying and moving away from my old ways of behaving. This is part of the adventure of my new life.

Affirmation

My perception of failure, disappointment and setbacks can change to be a positive thing, a source of inspiration to continue down my new path.