December 16

”Part of being a man is learning to take responsibility for your successes and for your failures. You can’t go blaming others or being jealous. Seeing somebody else’s success as your failure is a cancerous way to live.” Kevin Bacon

I do appreciate the discussion in Step 4 about resentment where we are called to focus on our part, however small, in situations where we are holding something against someone else. This has been helpful for me in two ways. The first, of course, has been in taking responsibility for my own actions. This was certainly something I shrunk away from during my life, especially during my periods of active addiction. The second way, and perhaps more important way, is realizing that I am not responsible for how others have acted or treated me. It is about coming to the realization that I have been holding on to grudges which have had the result of allowing that situation or person to keep power over me for a long time. This awareness leads to the conclusion that only I can let go of those issues from my past to grant me freedom. This is a large component of my work in recovery, to regain power where I have given it away. It is about recognizing where I have made mistakes, seeking forgiveness and making amends. It is about turning over what others have done to my Higher Power with the realization that I am powerless to change them.

Affirmation

I will work on acknowledging my part in situations of the past, and giving back responsibility to those who have wronged me in return.

December 15

”The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue.” Antisthenes

I once heard a fairly well-known celebrity remark on how his best introduction had been a time when the emcee had made a list of all the things that he was not. It seems a bit counter-intuitive, but then again so is the idea that we need to sometimes spend more time focused on unlearning things than being taught something new. I do see a strong relationship between this concept and Steps 6 and 7. Recognizing my character defects, becoming willing to let them go, and then asking my Higher Power to remove them is really an unlearning process. It is a housekeeping chore of getting rid of my old, unwanted, deteriorated and less useful attitudes, behaviours and beliefs. I need to make space in my life and my world before I can really focus on new ways of living. I am continually seeing how the Steps are a process of learning about myself so that I can get out of the way of my own self-centered ideas and actions. It’s about gaining the awareness that I need to surrender so that I am able to follow the will of my Higher Power. It’s taking the time to slow down, and stop to listen so that I can see the signs and hear the quiet voice of God directing my life His way. This is the power of my program.

Affirmation

Today I will be cognizant of old patterns of thought and behaviours that I need to unlearn in order make space for better ways to be me.

December 3

”Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it.” William Feather

It is true that there are certain times of the year that have been inherently more difficult than others. Holidays, birthdays, and other special dates take on a new flavour with changes to relationships, new family dynamics, and a sense of grief and loss. I have had to come to terms with my new reality, more than once, and then find a way to accept this and the impact it has on such significant events. It is not always easy. Getting into the Christmas spirit, for example, is not something I feel like doing when I think about what has been lost, how things are not the same. I have to find the strength and the courage to focus on what I still have, and to realize that I still deserve to find happiness today, no matter what the situation is. There is a great deal of truth in the fact that I need to choose to find happiness within, because if my only sources of happiness are things which are external, well many of things are also temporary. That is not a recipe for long-lasting joy. This is a great parallel to my serenity and sobriety. I am not sustained by external things, by my strengthening my connection to my internal powers, my Source or Higher Power, and my sense of self. These are the aspects which will always be there; I only need to focus my energy on them. Joy to the world, I will let my light shine from within.

Affirmation

When I feel unhappy or at odds with the world today, I will slow down, breathe and remember that my true source of happiness and joy lies within me.