March 13

”Any act often repeated soon forms a habit; and habit allowed, steady gains in strength, At first it may be but as a spider's web, easily broken through, but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel.” Tryon Edwards

Earning someone’s trust is a long journey. It takes many small acts, continued open and honest communication, and lots of patience. It is very delicate like building an intricate spider web. It is as fragile, easily torn by the smallest negligence, harsh word, or inappropriate act. It is through constant work that extra layers can be added to the web of trust, making it more resilient and less likely to break. Even though I am now in a new relationship with someone who was not with me during my darkest points, the past still leaves a taint. The uncertainty of me slipping back into my old ways creates tension and a hidden stress that I don’t always see in my partner. I need to be sensitive to this aspect of our relationship and to even be forward enough to talk about it first so as not to allow seeds of worry to grow and fester. I have faith in myself and my program of recovery. I am confident in my step work, the progress I continue to make, my sobriety and I have fewer doubts about falling back to my old patterns. But that in of itself doesn’t necessarily transfer to those around me; those are other relationships that require their own time and effort to nurture.

Affirmation I will continue all the small things to keep building my webs of trust and to improve my relations, with myself and others.