February 4

”Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.” Albert von Szent-Gyorgi

A large part of my healing process has involved redefining who I am. The realization that I lived a double life for so many years led me to question who I was, what my values where, and what I stood  for. Just as my addiction hid my spirituality from me, it also buried many of my other beliefs and principles that were contradictory to the selfishness and single-mindedness of my compulsive behaviours. Working the Steps, especially the 4th and compiling my personal inventory, was a painful, but productive process in identifying the person I am. It also brought me to the conclusion that I have a very powerful and freeing choice, I can choose to let go of those parts of me that I don’t like, which do not support me, and carry forward with only the positive pieces. It’s within me right now to be the person I want as only I can continue to let my past pull me down. It was hard at first to take an honest look in the mirror and stop seeing that dark shadow that lurked just beneath the surface. In time, as I have continued to surrender, as I delve deeper within myself, I am coming to accept that reflection which stares back at me. I know I am worth more than how I used to see myself.

Affirmation I have the power see myself better, to define who I want to be based on today, and not upon the deeds of yesterday.