July 4

”Happiness does not consist in pastimes and amusements but in virtuous activities.” Aristotle

There are days in recovery that I find it challenging to be happy, to feel true contentment for being here. These are days when I find myself at risk of hearing the voice of my addiction, the empty promises that seek to fill an unnamed void. It’s still frightening how a small seed of a thought, an act, or a hint of middle circle behaviour can float in and out of my day, distracting me and tugging at me, risking to pull me towards action inch by inch. I need to get through days like this however I can. One trick is simply delaying taking a thought and making it a reality. Telling myself it has to wait until later can give me time for the power of the suggestion to fade. It also gives me the chance to do something else, like reach out, pray, or meditate to strengthen my resolve. Even still, there are days like this that are a rollercoaster ride, a constant tugging up and down of my recovering self and the addict. I need to keep fighting the good fight. I also need to be willing, should I succumb to the pull and slip into old behaviours, to forgive myself and climb right back onto the path of recovery. I am only human after all.

Affirmation In recovery there will be days that are harder than others, but I will continue to struggle against the current of my addiction which continues to lose its power over me.