April 28

"If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” Roald Dahl

One of the struggles in my recovery has been rediscovering joy and happiness. After years of depriving myself of these feelings in the endless pursuit of lustful pleasure, my senses were warped. In fact, I strongly related to the term pleasure deaf when I first heard it early in recovery, it was an apt description of my emotional state. It has taken dedication and commitment to working my program of recovery for me to re-engage a healthy and balanced emotional state. Now with years of recovery under my belt, I am once again able to enjoy a beautiful sunrise, relish in the birds singing in the early morning light, savour a well-cooked meal, feel the warmth of a smile, and delight in time spent with a loved one. It is not surprising, looking back at those years spent in my addiction, that my outward appearance often did not let the sunshine peer through. I was living a lie, hiding in my double-life. Today as I live a more genuine and authentic life, the light within has regained the power to  shine forth into the world. And that is a lovely thought indeed.

Affirmation

Today I will practice letting the sun shine forth from within, through smiles, laughing and a cheery demeanour.