November 25

”Time is what we want most, but... what we use worst.” William Penn

I recall one exercise as I did my 4th Step of trying to determine the cost of my addiction. It was a bit of a daunting task, to look back and tally up how much of my time, money, and energy had been put into supporting that part of my life. I have heard others share their own experiences of going through this and the realization of what the price of this double-life can be. As I work through my recovery, this goes beyond how my addiction affected me, but the secondary effects that it had on family, friends, coworkers, neighbours, etc.  My addiction was very costly indeed. The worst thief of all, still today, is the time I lost, most especially with family. I will never regain all those lost minutes, hours, or days spent in fantasy, lost in front of a computer screen, or wherever else my addiction led. And I used to worry about what I would do with all the free time. Fortunately, life seems to fill most of that time up with just regular day-to-day goings-on. I often wonder how I managed to keep both lives going for so long. It is no wonder that some part of my life had to suffer. I am grateful that I have this new lease to spend my time better on the things that truly are important, like my kids.

Affirmation Time is fleeting and precious, and I will be careful not to waste it on things which are not valuable.