February 10

”And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32

I spent many years hiding from the truth. I was too afraid to be honest, to be rejected, refused or abandoned for what I thought or how I felt. I lied, or told half-truths, or simply neglected to share things that I should have to stay authentic with myself and others. Years of living like that took its toll, and I became a prisoner to the layers of deceit that I’d built over the years. It’s taken many years to come to a point of living a more genuine and honest existence. I finally got tired of the burden of carrying all the deception with me. It is as though a great weight was lifted from my shoulders, my heart and my soul in becoming truthful. It’s a transformation that needed to start with myself as I had been dishonest with the most important person in my life – me – for a long time. The truth is not always easy. Doing the right thing is often very difficult. But once done, it’s done. There is no web of lies to remember or maintain, no recalling of what version of the truth was told to whom, who is implicated or not, or any of the hundreds of details used to make the mistruths believable. The truth demands none of that, it is simply what it is and I can always recall what it was. Honesty certainly keeps me liberated and open to participating more fully in life.

Affirmation Honesty, starting with being truthful with myself, is a key to turning over a new page in my life and committing to being in recovery.