February 18

”To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind.” Theophile Gautier

Admiration, something I have sought, and something that I have also given. I do like the definition - that it is loving with the mind, an intellectual feat. Admiration is a form of judgement and comparison that places another person on a pedestal or scale against others. It can be genuine to a degree, but I would also suggest that it is love at a distance, and not in a close and personal sense. To consider the first part of the quote, that loving is to admire with the heart, this too strikes a chord in me. Admiration from my heart, from my centre of emotions, is to wish to connect with another. It is the feelings that are important in this case, and it is certainly a desire to be close and to have intimacy. There is implied warmth in the description that can only come from the proximity of the relationship. Comparing and contrasting love and admiration in this way gives me more insight into how I have treated love in the past, and how I need to change my perspective now. It is not about comparison, or judgement, or awe of another. Love is about respect, acceptance of another as they truly are, and the simple desire to be a part of where they are. It is not about needing to change to be acceptable at their level, nor about highlighting where I seem to be lacking. Love is indeed simple and pure in its more basic form.

Affirmation I am learning to recreate my definition of love which is more pure and less concerned with lust, admiration, judgement and vanity.