February 1

”You can’t fix your broken thinking with your broken thinking.” Anonymous

One of my challenges in accepting that I suffered from an addiction, that I had this disease, was coming to terms with the fact that I couldn’t fix myself with anything I already knew. By delving into the First Step, by admitting that my life was unmanageable and that I was out of control, I saw the many ways in which I had, unsuccessfully tried to do things my way to break the bad habits and patterns of my life. This acceptance of course helped to lead me to the second and third steps, a willingness to turn my life over to a Higher Power that could restore me to sanity. In this way, I moved towards a new way of dealing with life, of trusting in something other than my own will to live, or my addiction, so that I could find my path back to a healthy life. This is the secret of the first three steps, as I understand them. The first means accepting that my thinking, my coping mechanisms, and my reality, are broken. Step Two is the promise of hope of a different way of life if I trust and surrender my will to a safe Higher Power. And finally in the third step I take action, even if only a baby step, by becoming willing to let my Higher Power guide my life and my actions. These steps were transformative for me. With the help of my sponsor and fellow members, progressing through them began the process of turning my life away from the fantastical world of my addiction towards reality. I was able to finally begin to see the fog life from the control of my addictive thinking that had clouded my judgement and reasoning for so long. Faith in my Higher Power led me back into the light of day.

Affirmation

I will remember the basics of the program as expressed in the first three steps today, acknowledge my problem, that there is hope, and that there is a different and better way to live.