October 11

”When making choices in life, do not neglect to live.” Samuel Johnson

I can look back more objectively at my life and the times I lived in active addiction. I can see in retrospect that many of my choices were not about living, not about experiencing and enjoying the world around me. Instead they were focused on one sole train of thought – feeding my addiction. I truly did spend much of my time worshipping that idol of sex. I worked to have the resources to support my habit. I stressed about finances, conflicts and life events to feed the reason for my dependence on my addict as my coping mechanism and I rationalized it all away, not taking any responsibility for my actions. Today my decisions are made for better purposes. I choose to be in recovery and make it a priority. I choose to be second, putting the will of the God of my understanding before my own. I choose to serve others. I chose to love, to forgive, to seek and give kindness. I also choose to recognize my addict but not give in any more. I choose not to regret, not to carry resentments, nor to beat myself up for my mistakes – past, present or future. I choose to be part of the world around me rather than isolate, I choose to be an active participant.

Affirmation I have received the gift of choice; let me make the best ones to support my recovery today.