April 19

”Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.” Chinese Proverb

I am a grateful recovering sex addict. At the beginning of my recovery I was simply me. But the first time I named myself a sex addict, I began to acknowledge my powerlessness over my addiction and to accept the unmanageability of my life. It was the beginning of my process through Step One. Eventually I felt it was time to call myself a recovering sex addict. The change was simply the fact that I was comfortable with the first step, aware of where my addiction had led me in life, and cognisant that I could never go back to that state of ignorance. I woke up each morning knowing that my focus for the day was to be in recovery. Now I am a grateful recovering sex addict. That change occurred while I was in a treatment program for codependency. I realized that while I was comfortable admitting I was a sex addict that I also hid behind that label; that somehow it justified my thoughts and actions. Coming to that realization that I am more than the sum of my parts, or in this case labels, gave me the freedom to start to be truly grateful for all the self-awareness I have gained, and continue to gain, in my journey of recovery.

Affirmation I am willing to change, but accept that many changes will happen when it’s the right time, not when I want them to.