September 30

”Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were big things.” Robert Brault

Looking into the past is not easy for me. While I can find moments of serenity and happiness, it is hard to hold onto them against the weight of negativity that my addiction put into the same period. The fact that my emotions were dulled also is not helpful in trying to recall better times. Then there are other people who only want me remember all the bad times which can make it even more challenging to look back. My task is to focus on today, and even though things are not all rosy, I am learning to focus at least equally on want goes well each day. I have to find the balance, and I need to practice positive thinking if I want to stop all that mental berating I am used to giving to myself. Like a friend recently shared, there is no way I would want to stay friends with someone who belittled and degraded me as much as I do of my own accord. It is learning to be gentle. To understand that I am not perfect. That I will make mistakes. That I have lots to offer. That I can rejoice in what I accomplish each day. It is also about surrounding myself with good people. Those who lift me up, who remind me of the good I do and the progress I have made. It is an accumulation of many small acts of goodness that have led me along the path of recovery. As I approach a year of sobriety, all those small things are turning into something quite large indeed.

Affirmation Today I will reflect on the small good things that are present in my life because I have chosen to be in recovery.