September 8

”We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” Miyazawa Kenji

Moving on with my life and pushing forward through the trials of separation and divorce has been far from easy. Breaking the bonds with someone who was such a large part of my life for many years is far from evident. Physical separation was probably the easiest part, the psychological and emotional separation is much more challenging, energy draining and depressing. It has been important, more than ever, to force myself to stick to my routine of recovery during this period. My meetings, my fellowship, my sponsor, and my SAA literature are powerful resources to help keep me grounded in the present and provide windows of sanity in the emotional turmoil. I have spent many hours looking back, wondering if I could have saved my marriage, if I did enough when I understood better how much damage I had caused. It is all part of letting go, wrestling with the ghosts of what could have been. My support network helps me to see the steps I have taken to improve my life and reminds me of where I am today. The grief and pain of the past will pass in time and I am discovering that it is fuel to make me want to be better for now and the future.

Affirmation Grief, hurt and pain are part of my life too. They are not fun to endure but can provide valuable lessons that I will come to treasure.