January 10

”In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” Albert Camus

Life at the bottom of my addiction was cold, dark and empty. I was more like a zombie than I cared to admit, no heart, no spirit, no emotion, a puppet on strings just going through the motions. I cared for nothing, about nothing or anyone, including myself. I was in a hole and there was no light, no heat, no escape. Somehow my Higher Power saw fit to put something in front of me that caught my eyes – of all things a presentation on addictions. For whatever reason, there was a glimmer of hope that I could find a different way, but also, after a few decades of insanity, the beginnings of the realization that I was ill and had a problem. It is from those depths that I have risen, and continue to flourish as I grow in the program. It has happened in small, painstaking steps with the occasional leap of faith. In most respects it has been a steady journey forward, as I discover myself, let go of my past, shame and guilt, find my strengths and grow in spirit. I continue to learn through my experiences and those of others that as a human being we can suffer greatly yet still come out a survivor to wondrous things. I am grateful for my second lease on life.

Affirmation From the darkest place I can find my way back into the light with continued faith in my Higher Power.