January 21

“Reality is only an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Albert Einstein

I still have moments where my instinct is to want to escape from the present moment. To avoid my feelings and my discomfort I can still find a multitude of ways to get away through television, video games, movies or other distractions. These are not really much better for me than my addictive behaviours, middle or inner circle. The problems and feelings still need to be dealt with and running away only delays the inevitable. I do wish that saying the Serenity Prayer one, five, or even ten times would be sufficient to let things go and turn them over to my Higher Power or grant me the courage and inspiration to deal with my part of it. Reality isn’t usually that simple and straightforward. Remaining in the now is hard work. Like most things I have had to learn in my life, it takes practice to get better at it, but with time and perseverance it does get easier. The reward of dealing with life as it happens and not delaying situations by escaping from them is that I am more aware of all that happens in my life. I also waste much less time, which in turn is a gift considering how much of my past I lost in my addiction.

Affirmation Staying focused on the here and now and being aware of my temptation to escape are healthy recognitions of where I am.