January 7

”You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough.” Frank Crane

Trust is a huge issue for me as an addict, mainly in two respects. The first is in trusting myself, after all the lies and damage I have caused, the lack of self-control and manageability I have suffered at the hands of my addiction. The second is in being worthy of the trust of others after years of lying, cheating, manipulating and breaking promises. It is not without just cause that people should be cautious putting their confidence in me. Fortunately there is a solution to both my concerns, and it happens to be the same thing – honesty. In becoming honest with myself – my thoughts, feelings and actions – I also become more accepting of the consequences. Honesty is also the bridge that I need to use to rebuild trust in my other relationships. It will take time to repair the damage, but being truthful and genuine goes a long way to re-establishing my connection to others. Trust, like respect, is a two-way street. Allowing myself to be open and to get close to others also adds the risk of getting hurt. Just as this is true for those who are willing to get to know me better. But, this is necessary to break out of my habits of isolating and to become an active participant in the world around me.

Affirmation Trust is easily broken and slow to heal. Let me continue to live an honest life and those relationships will be rebuilt, one brick at a time.