January 30

”Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.” Lazarus Long

It took me over two decades to realize that I had a problem with compulsive sexual behaviour. Yet once I recognised the true nature of my illness, it took me much less time to draw the conclusion that I would need to let go of it. In fact, letting go has been ongoing process practically since the first time I walked into a 12-Step meeting. My growing awareness has taken away the brunt of the power and control that my addiction used to hold over my life. I did reach a point in my recovery where I wanted to formally mark a new beginning. For some time I had been imagining my addict as a resident in the house in my head, where it had been confined to the addict. When I was at this turning point, I wrote an eviction notice, thanking my addiction for helping me cope and survive to that point in time, but that it was no longer needed as I had learned new ways to cope. Endings were always a struggle in my life, and still are to some degree. However, I am able now to see an end as more than just a loss, but also as a new beginning. Having a more holistic view of the circle of life gives me strength and allows me to handle change in better ways.

Affirmation I need not fret or be afraid of endings. There is a natural order to life that things begin, endure, and then come to a close. Acceptance is the key to living through these transitions.