January 4

”Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can.” Willis Whitney

Living in recovery gives me the liberty to take new risks. Whereas in the past risk-taking was only related to seeking sexual satisfaction, nowadays it is related to seeking out my dreams and desires – for a new job, a new place to live, new friendships – all healthy aspirations. However my challenge is to overcome my addict’s built-in self-defence mechanism of making excuses. This was how I tricked myself into believing I didn’t deserve anything better, of how unworthy I was, etc. This self-belittlement kept me weak, guilty and ashamed – a perfect candidate to continue acting out to try and feel better and to escape the pain. Turning all this around has been simpler than I thought. The barrier to my aspirations in most cases has been paper thin, a single step of courage has often proved all that was necessary to break free of the lies of my addict that were keeping me prisoner. Life has so much more variety and I can ask my Higher Power for the strength and courage to take those risks to move in a different direction. One reason, one supporting comment from a friend, can propel me a great distance along the healthy path of recovery and self-discovery.

Affirmation My fears often have more power than they deserve, and only serve to keep me a slave to my addiction. An act of courage can push them aside and give me freedom to realize my real dreams.