May 10

”Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” Harvey Fierstein

I remember from a very young age developing the notion that I did not want to grow up like my father. I am not sure I even knew what that meant fully at the time, nor in the years that followed, but it was somehow a self-promise to be better than the standard he represented. The problem is that the more I tried to enforce this idea, the more like him I became. I have lived through periods of defiance, where I firmly believed that no one could define who I was and that the way to do things was to turn away from all those people who could guide me in finding the path that was right for me to take. The best result that I achieved through that course of action was to become even more lost than I thought possible. My recovery has taught me that being my own person is more about my surrendering to the possibility that I don’t know best rather than assuming that I do possess that knowledge. I am realizing that I don’t know the path of my future, heck I am not even holding the map. It is through others that I can be guided when I open myself to the workings of my Higher Power in those around me. Today I wish to be more like my father rather than so different, for his path of recovery can surely aid my own.

Affirmation I will be open to the definition of my path that my Higher Power offers and look for the guidance that is provided.