May 5

”Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” Helen Keller

One of the messages that has stayed with me since treatment is that I should be happy to be in discomfort. Being in that state means I am in a state of change or ready for it. The routine is stable, comfortable and safe. Change is the opposite, we are uncertain, apprehensive, reluctant, but its only through change that we truly grow. My character needs to go through a transformation if I am truly to make the journey out of my active addiction to a different and sane life. Giving up my old ways is a very real way of losing a part of myself that has sustained me, provided for me, and helped me cope for years. I need to let that part of me die, having served its purpose, to make room for other ways to meet the challenges of daily life. I am aware that I will need to grieve this loss of self. Change can come gradually or in a quick burst. But change is all around me and I can learn to embrace it. My goal is to continue to welcome newness into my life.

Affirmation I will be aware of what makes me uncomfortable today and explore the opportunity to change and grow that comes with those feelings.