July 2

”Do not remove a fly from your friend’s head with a hatchet.” Chinese Proverb

Reconnecting my head to my heart, allowing myself to feel my emotions after years of ignoring and burying them has presented its own difficulties. Having stopped my emotional maturity as an adolescent has left a void in my growth and years of lessons and practice of managing them accordingly have been missed. So I guess it should come as no surprise when some of my initial reactions are untempered and nearly overwhelm me. I was not mentally prepared to feel so angry, sad, happy or afraid as I was in that initial period. It has taken patience and a great deal of personal courage to allow those strong emotions to flow within me. I heard on member describe it best as standing in front of a massive dam in the Grand Canyon, knowing the pressure of all that water was just waiting and hoping to get out from the other side. On the occasions where my dam has burst I have feared being washed away in the flood. I am grateful to have built a spiritual foundation and to have to hope from others to help me stand my ground. Through time and practice I am learning to better match the intensity of my emotion to the situation rather than having those flash flood moments. As in most of my life, I strive for moderation and balance instead of living in extremes.

Affirmation I will be open to my emotions, but in a measure that is appropriate for the situation.