July 7

”Don’t spend time beating a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” Dr. Laura Schlessinger

I still wonder if I am putting my energy and effort into the best endeavours. There are aspects of my life, certainly my recovery where I can see the results of my actions and changes. Yet trying to carry these principles into the greater part of my world, especially my relationships, is not always evident nor does it always have the desired effect. Adding another human being to the equation seems to modify the dynamics and I wonder if I am trying to work on something that can’t be repaired, now or ever. It’s the last line of the Serenity Prayer that often seems to elude me, having the wisdom to know the difference between what I can change and what I cannot. I guess some of my problem is trying to fix everything myself on my schedule and not being open to things happening in my Higher Power’s time and according to His will. Patience is a hard virtue to practice some days. Turning back and focusing on the basics of my program, pulling out the tools and habit of my outer circle can help restore me to sanity. I need to pray and meditate and allow myself to find my way back to the right path rather than trying to fight my way through the jungle. I must surrender and accept that I am not in control.

Affirmation I will practice breathing, stepping back, letting go and any other technique to surrenderthose things beyond my control. My sanity requires it.