July 9

”There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” Edith Wharton

I think for most of my life, since it has been coupled with my addiction, I have never truly felt like I have genuinely had much to offer the world. I know I can think of brief instances where I did, but more often than not I would not have considered myself as a light in the world. Nor for that matter would I have said that I reflected light either. If anything, I probably felt more like 2-way glass, a nice shiny outside that was my public face, but on the other side it was dark, my hidden addictive self that was consciously concealed. From my addictive state I could see through the glass to the nice shiny world, but it felt phone to live in that place with all the dark secrets that caused me guilt and shame. Nowadays I am discovering my self-worth. Knowing that I am a good person, that I have things to offer, that I can contribute to the world around me lets me be a candle and spread a little light in my surroundings. I am also able to reflect the light I see in others, especially in the fellowship, and I am grateful that I am no longer peering out from the darkness behind that piece of 2-way glass.

Affirmation I will look for the good things I can share and be proud of my talents and the things I can offer to the world.