November 13 (81)

”A man knows he has found his vocation when he stops thinking about how to live and begins to live.” Thomas Merton

Starting from “go” after having been sent there like in a game of Monopoly, fortunately having bypassed jail or other serious consequences, left me staring at a blank sheet of paper. Who am I? What am I? What are my values? Morals? Ethics? What is my purpose? All I seemed to start off with was a multitude of questions for which I had no answers and no obvious starting point. Having lived most of my years with my secret life running along in tandem left me questioning everything that had happened, every choice, every motivation, and every act. I had no idea what was real, what was fantasy or anything in between. Slowly the deluge of water through the flood gates calmed to a thunderous roar and I was able to at least grab onto small branches of truth as I was carried along through the surging waters. I discovered pieces of the real me amongst the flotsam and jetsam of my sordid past. Uncovering those true and core parts of myself is providing me with the building blocks to gradually construct a new life, one piece at a time, by the grace of God.

Affirmation I know there is a true person with me, waiting to be resurrected and given a new lease on life.