November 18 (76)

”I get up and pace the room, as if I can leave my guilt behind me.  But it tracks me as a I walk, an ugly shadow made by myself.” Rosamund Lupton

If I really want to move forward with my life, I need to be able to truly forgive the most important person in my life – myself. As long as I continue to drag the ugly shadow of my past, all my guilt and shame, with me, I will not make significant progress. Starting new things – moving to a new place, getting a new job, or making new friends – all these will give me a temporary reprieve from the burden of my past but I need to forgive myself and surrender what I cannot change to my Higher Power in order to progress in my recovery. Another aspect is that I am the sole cause of any guilt and shame I continue to carry. I am the one who has given the power to past situations to continue to haunt and detriment my present condition. Therefore it is only I who can decide to take back what I have given away and choose to focus on the better parts of my situation. Letting go of those negative aspects of my past and present gives me the opportunity to change and improve my character. Asking the God of my understanding to take away my character defects is a step in the right direction to a better way of living. Becoming an example of the changes I want to see in the world is a large part of my amends for all the damage I’ve done in the past and diminishes the power of my ugly shadow.

Affirmation My guilt and shame can only maintain power in my life as long as I choose to let them. I will let go of some today with the help of my Higher Power.