November 4 (90)

”It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.” Eleanor Roosevelt

During a sharing session I had a spark of insight that linked a few behavioural patterns together that I had not realized previously. When I get into a period of stinkin’ thinkin’, part of my middle circle behaviours, I tend to isolate, usually from those closest to me – friends, family and members of the program alike. I used to think that it was primarily to give myself the extra space to keep feeding my addiction. I also discovered that in a twisted way, as my addictive thinking can be, it is also a way to try and protect those I care about. Pushing away or retreating into my shell keeps people away from me when I am in a bad place and when I am more likely to do something to harm others. Guess I should include harming myself in there too, I know better now. The opposite is the truth though, that by isolating I am removing myself from the people who are most likely my best advocates for my recovery and who support me in continuing to do the right things. This is still a challenge, to realize that I need not face everything on my own. That I can ask for help and it’s alright. That I deserve to live better. That I will face difficulties that make me want to run away. God give me the courage to accept those people in my life who support me.

Affirmation If I am willing to go out on a limb for another member in need, I need to remember that it is okay for someone to reach out to me.